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 Still I didn't feel at home.  If it wasn't the gay issue, then it was the intercommunion issue.  I had read too much honest Anglican and general Church history from a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conciliarism|consular perspective]] to want to become Roman Catholic. Nevertheless I felt like a weird outsider as an anglo-catholic in the Protestant Episcopal Church and, anachronistically enough, I felt a complete lack of support as a gay person.  The Anglican (Protestant Episcopal) Church in America today is working, even suffering, through an honest orthopraxy on that issue as opposed to the Orthodox Churches who are not even aware of their grave heterosexual philetism.
 ==== Saint Seraphim Orthodox Church, (OCA) Long Beach, California ====
-{{:sericon.jpg  |}}During winter of 1972-1973, I saw an ad for and Orthodox OCA Mission in Long Beach California and it was in English.  I was drawn to it and within a few minutes of hearing the heavenly choir, I was amazed to actually hear the priest quoting Saint John Chrysostom and Saint Basil.  This was like going back in time to the historic church.  I was aware that many other churches named their church buildings after saints but here I was actually hearing the words of the saints that seemed like they were living and preaching a faith relevant for today.  I was hooked.  From then on, I was at every Divine Service and was helping out during the week.  I was chrismated on July 22, 1973 and my children were both chrismated on September 23, 1973 by Father Vasilie.  Worshiping God at St. Seraphim's was the most spiritually connected and joyful time of my life.
+{{:sericon.jpg  |}}During winter of 1972-1973, I saw an ad for an Orthodox OCA Mission in Long Beach California and it was in English.  I was drawn to it and within a few minutes of hearing the heavenly choir, I was amazed to actually hear the priest quoting Saint John Chrysostom and Saint Basil.  This was like going back in time to the historic church.  I was aware that many other churches named their church buildings after saints but here I was actually hearing the words of the saints that seemed like they were living and preaching a faith relevant for today.  I was hooked.  From then on, I was at every Divine Service and was helping out during the week.  I was chrismated on July 22, 1973 and my children were both chrismated on September 23, 1973 by Father Vasilie.  Worshiping God at St. Seraphim's was the most spiritually connected and joyful time of my life.
 {{  :saint-seraphim075.jpg?200|}}
-{{:frglag.jpg  |}}St. Seraphim Orthodox Church (OCA) began in Long Beach with 3 families and grew to 200 on the mailing list and 70 each Sunday for Divine Liturgy after the patronal festival 5 years later. This was not an "activist parish" but simply a parish of devout Orthodox Christians according each other mutual love and respect as we worshipped God. Father Vasilie was a very intelligent priest however his written English was less than perfect. He asked me to be the parish newsletter Editor which I was honored to help prepare and that gave me a good opportunity to become acquainted with everyone and sing bass in the choir.  {{:metvlad.jpg  |}}During the entire 6 years I was there, there were only two occasions I ever heard comments made on the topic of homosexuality. Once L., a very generous and spiritual older lady said to me: "Do you know that D. and T. are gay?...but that is OK." The other time a member of the board inappropriately confided in me that M. was in a hospital for a disease that gays get. So there was no "scandal" in that parish. And some time before, Father Vasilie had assured me that "the Orthodox Church does not excommunicate for that!" I had been temporarily visiting a Greek Orthodox Church to study Koine Greek.  During that time, Father Vasilie resigned his position at Saint Seraphim to go back to Yugoslavia and a young priest came from Saint Vladimir's seminary, I learned later, to set everyone straight with support of his bishop. Within one month of his tenure, he excommunicated 12 communicants, including the entire Saint Seraphim choir.  Soon the parish was again down to 2 or 3 families.
+{{:frglag.jpg  |}}St. Seraphim Orthodox Church (OCA) began in Long Beach with 3 families and grew to 200 on the mailing list and 70 each Sunday for Divine Liturgy by the time of the patronal festival 5 years later. This was not an "activist parish" but simply a parish of devout Orthodox Christians according each other mutual love and respect as we worshipped God. Father Vasilie was a very intelligent priest however his written English was less than perfect. He asked me to be the parish newsletter Editor which I was honored to help prepare and that gave me a good opportunity to become acquainted with everyone and sing bass in the choir.  {{:metvlad.jpg  |}}During the entire 6 years I was there, there were only two occasions I ever heard comments made on the topic of homosexuality. Once L., a very generous and spiritual older lady said to me: "Do you know that D. and T. are gay?...but that is OK." The other time a member of the board inappropriately confided in me that M. was in a hospital for a disease that gays get. So there was no "scandal" in that parish. And some time before, Father Vasilie had assured me that "the Orthodox Church does not excommunicate for that!" I had been temporarily visiting a Greek Orthodox Church to study Koine Greek.  During that time, Father Vasilie resigned his position at Saint Seraphim to go back to Yugoslavia. A young priest came from Saint Vladimir's seminary, I learned later, with the intent to set everyone "straight" with support of his bishop. Within one month of his tenure, he excommunicated 12 communicants, including the entire Saint Seraphim choir.  Soon the parish was again down to 2 or 3 families.
 {{  :sserlog1.gif|Saint Seraphim Orthodox Church Seal}}I spoke to one Antiochian priest about the matter who said the priest did it all wrong. What he would do would be to quietly ask each one separately to renounce their abomination and excommunicate one at a time. That way he would not have to contend with the wrath of the congregation.
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 Axios was founded in 1980 in Los Angeles, California.  We met once a month with forty members for Vespers followed by a pot luck dinner and meeting to discuss our situation.  We regularly participated in the West Hollywood Pride festival, distributed information through the then "Religious Gay Coalition," and even had our own red tee shirts.  But after three years of Axios solidarity, one of two members entrusted with the Axios mailing list and publication of the Axios newsletter, started insisting that we expulse the two or three Eastern-rite (Catholic) members we had. This person had, in the past, been asked to leave by the Melkites so seemingly he had some grudge with the Catholics.  Axios, as a group, does not celebrate Divine Liturgy. So the membership unanimously, except for the two, voted to reaffirm full membership of eastern-rite Catholics.  The two newsletter editors were furious and sent our entire confidential mailing list to the bishop in San Francisco.  The OCA bishop in San Francisco sent down letters to all the clergy advising them to not serve Holy Communion to Axios members and also to discontinue the practice of "general confession" which was allowing gays to avoid being "confronted" in the confessional.
-Now it should not be assumed that most Orthodox clergy actively seek out gays and refuse to serve them. In fact, the real attitudes of priests to homosexuality, have and still do, range all over the place as I have spoken to them. In confession, some say "do not confess anything you do not believe is a sin," others say that it is a sin but no worse than gluttony as they point to their own stomach. Others call it an abomination and condemn devout gay lovers who have been loyal together much longer than straights often do in our society. This last kind of priest presumably thinks that having a devoted lover leads to committing an abomination more often and expects the non-straight Orthodox Christian to throw away their lover. How many gays and others have given up on the Orthodox Church because of this false orthopraxis as well as lack of transparency and consistency?{{  :axiosny-dec87.gif?300|}}
+Now it should not be assumed that most Orthodox clergy actively seek out gays and refuse to serve them. In fact, the real attitudes of priests to homosexuality, have and still do, range all over the place as I have spoken to them.  I am saying that the God-inspired conscience of many Orthodox priests does not conform to the official position against homosexuality present on the supposedly canonical websites. In confession, some say "do not confess anything you do not believe is a sin," others say that it is a sin but no worse than gluttony as they point to their own stomach. Others call it an abomination and condemn devout gay lovers who have been loyal together much longer than straights often do in our society. This last kind of priest presumably thinks that having a devoted lover leads to committing an abomination more often and expects the non-straight Orthodox Christian to throw away their lover. How many gays and others have given up on the Orthodox Church because of this false orthopraxis as well as lack of transparency and consistency?{{  :axiosny-dec87.gif?300|}}
 My repeated attempts to restart Axios meetings in Los Angeles have been met with fear from the former members who said "Remember what happened the last time." That seemed to work for those who are comfortable hiding themselves from everyone. Some of us eventually come to see //honesty, integrity and dignity// as essential attributes of the word "Orthodoxy". Can "right worship" be possible where truth is hidden?  The "clobber passage" most often used by homophobic priests, to justify throwing away one's lover, is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah which actually describes intended violence not love.  Since the story is actually about rape instead of love, it seems obvious to me that these were straights trying to humiliate the strangers.  If this fallacious argument actually worked then it would condemn all straights and not non-straights.  It is a silly pretense of an argument but still prominent on the Greek Orthodox and OCA websites.
 ==== Axios Carries the Baton Underground ====
-Around 1990, I realized that our situation had become steadily worse.  With help from New York but no help from any former members of Axios in Los Angeles who were in hiding, I decided to do what I could to be helpful to non-straight Orthodox Christians who wanted to find safe and Orthodox places to worship God "in sincerity and truth."  I could never get a quorum together to start meetings again because those who practice "don't ask, don't tell" in the Orthodox parishes told me "It is no one's business what I do in bed." By that, I understood they felt no solidarity with gays who instead have a real need to be honest at least with everyone with whom they share the "Holy Kiss" in Church.  Here the reader might think I am dismissing all those gays who actually believe what is taught by the mainline churches in their official websites that gays must "bear their lifelong crosses" and never have a lover no matter how loving. Gays must immediately go to confession when they fall in love.  Well I have spoken with and written to hundreds of Orthodox straights, Orthodox Lesbians, Orthodox gay men as well as many clerics in these 20 years of underground activity. I try to match those who ask with Orthodox Churches who will serve them.  Out of all these people who just want to worship God in peace, I only remember 2 or possibly 3 who believed this sadomasochistic guidance was actually Orthodox and must be followed.  I never attempted to interfere with their understanding in the matter. All the rest I know who are in Los Angeles follow the "it is no one's business what I do in bed" approach or have left the Church.
+Around 1990, I realized that our situation had become steadily worse.  With help from New York but no help from any former members of Axios in Los Angeles who were in hiding, I decided to do what I could to be helpful to non-straight Orthodox Christians who wanted to find safe and Orthodox places to worship God "in sincerity and truth."  I could never get a quorum together to start meetings again because those who practice "don't ask, don't tell" in the Orthodox parishes told me "It is no one's business what I do in bed." By that, I understood they felt no solidarity with gays who instead have a real need to be honest at least with everyone with whom they share the "Holy Kiss" in Church.  Here the reader might think I am dismissing all those gays who actually believe what is taught by the mainline churches in their official websites that gays must "bear their lifelong crosses" and never have a lover no matter how loving. Gays must immediately go to confession when they fall in love.  Well I have spoken with and written to hundreds of Orthodox straights, Orthodox Lesbians, Orthodox gay men as well as many clerics in these 20 years of underground activity. I try to send those who ask to Orthodox Churches who will serve them.  Out of all these people who just want to worship God in peace, I only remember 2 or possibly 3 who believed this sadomasochistic guidance was actually Orthodox and must be followed.  I never attempted to interfere with their understanding in the matter. All the rest I know who are in Los Angeles follow the "it is no one's business what I do in bed" approach or have left the Church.
 ==== AIDS and Orthodox Hostility To Monogamous Same-sex Partners ====
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 The Orthodox clergy have also forgotten that Saint Paul said "It is better to marry than to burn."  He recognized that the sex instinct is part of human nature, wanting to know another deeply, to trust, love and care deeply.  It is celibacy that is a special grace given to only a few. Why all the English bibles that contain the word "homosexual" are wrong is simply that the concept was not present before the 20th century.  Everyone thought that all humans were heterosexual. In my lifetime, even the psychiatrists and psychologists thought that homosexuals were merely sick heterosexuals until they figured out the difference. But today only Orthodox clergy and conservatives still think everyone is really heterosexual.  So the psychiatrists and psychologists, through analysis and research, transfigured their common understanding. Now both straights and non-straights who are uncomfortable with non-straights are seen to have the problem.
-If Orthodoxy were as simple as accepting the early scientific views of St. Paul, Origin or Aristotle we would be stuck with reincarnation and who knows what.  Certainly more than the western church, Orthodoxy has been more willing to let science make its observations and be concerned instead with the love of God and the Theology and Doctrine of Salvation that is THEOSIS.
+If Orthodoxy were as simple as accepting the early scientific views of St. Paul, Origin or Aristotle we would be stuck with reincarnation and who knows what.  Certainly more than the western church, Orthodoxy has been willing to let science make its observations and be concerned instead with the love of God and the Theology and Doctrine of Salvation that is THEOSIS.
     * "Saint Athanasius tells us that God became man that man might become God: not in the Essence of God but in the actions of God i.e. love, joy peace, compassion, non-judgmental forgiveness."
     * In the words of Saint John Chrysostom:  "For Christians above all people are forbidden to correct the stumblings of sinners by force... it is necessary to make someone better not by force but by persuasion.  We neither have authority granted us by law to restrain sinners, nor, if it were, should we know how to use it, since God gives the crown to those who are kept from evil, not by force, but by choice."